So, after a long blogging hiatus, I'm back. We are doing well.
Homeschooling is going great. We've been at it for nearly 3 years now. I used about a year of those three years just trying to teach the kids how to live in a family. How to get along, do chores, eat meals quietly with less fighting. There were times during those 3 years when I thought that it was all for naught. I questioned my decision to homeschool and wondered if they would ever want to be in our family.
I can now say that miracles have taken place in our home. Although the road has been long, hard and bumpy it has been a journey worth taking. Don't get me wrong, it's no walk in the park even now, but the changes that have happened and that are happening are nothing short of a miracle considering where we came from.
They do sweet, considerate, thoughtful things now. For example this morning at breakfast I was really cold so Kishawn got me a jacket. Then later, I dropped something on the floor while I was cooking and Jada wiped it up for me without my asking. Kiana has been doing her chores happily and correctly. Jazmine is getting to be SO good with the little ones. They are learning how to think outside of themselves and to see other people's needs.
There have been multiple times during the past 3 years when I have wondered if I was doing the right thing. Things just didn't seem to be improving. I wondered if I was doing them a disservice keeping them home when they let me know very clearly that home is NOT where they wanted to be. But each time I prayed about it, the answer I got was to stay on the path we were on and to keep homeschooling. I wondered why, when things seemed to be so bad. But, now little by little, I'm seeing the fruits of our labors.
A couple weeks ago in church, Jazmine bore her testimony. She said,
"When I was little my mom and dad didn't take care of me. I was hungry a lot and they hurt me sometimes. I learned to do a lot of bad things, but now I am learning to pray to Heavenly Father. I pray to Him when I'm in my room and He is helping me."
(Funny side note. Although most of the congregation knows our family, there was a new family there who didn't know us. I was getting some funny looks from them that day at church. I realized that they probably thought that I was that mom. Haha. Sure enough later on that night at a get-together, I was talking to her and she confirmed what I thought she thought. That's a good laugh.)
Anyway, I'm so proud of all the kids for what they are learning and for who they are becoming.
Most of all, they are starting to talk to us about those big, difficult, hard feelings. I think that is so important. As long as they will open up to us, hopefully we can get them the help they need.
I am so grateful for a loving Father in Heaven who knows these children better than any professional, better than any well meaning friend, and far better than myself. I'm grateful that even if I don't understand His guidance, I can follow it and know that thinks will work out.