After an extremely difficult week with the kids, I have realized once again the benefits of their medication way outweigh how detrimental it is for the kids and our family to not use it right now.
After a few days of watching them slide down hill rapidly, I felt that I was doing them a huge disservice by not allowing them to use this tool that has proven to help them so much. Not to mention, I was beginning to feel that I couldn't go on, and that's the last thing my kids need is a mother who cannot be there or them.
I am still using the natural supplements to ensure that their bodies are getting what they need. I am still doing the therapeutic parenting. I am still trying to learn more and better strategies to help them at every opportunity I get. We are still processing grief.
And I have come to realize that just like the therapists, parents and doctors said (sometimes I prefer to learn things the hard way...) this is a tool that our family needs right now.
Thank you everyone who gave me advise. It really meant a lot to me and I did take it to heart.